An Empty Pillow

Fostering animals can be a heavy lift, and it can certainly be a challenge in unexpected ways. However, I want to highlight the joy and importance of fostering! I am currently fostering three female guinea pigs, and as I navigate their fear and uncertainty, I am reminded of the first dog I ever fostered a few years ago. Below is a post I wrote during my first night after she left. Spoiler alert: she ended up getting adopted by a very sweet couple who love her dearly!

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Tonight I have an Tonight I have an empty pillow. I bought this big pink pillow one day and it has been a comfort to me for many years. In college, I propped it on my bed for late night study sessions. In grad school, I rested it across my lap as I typed up papers. Years later, this pillow was now used as a comfort for a dog I was fostering.

This dog has really bad separation anxiety. Her family unfortunately had to bring her to the shelter and this senior dog was so confused and overwhelmed. She cried for hours and desperately searched for people who would give her attention.

There is something about this dog that I immediately connected to. It is terrifying being in a new environment and not knowing why the ground has been pulled out beneath you. As someone who had separation anxiety as a kid, I felt a bond to this dog in a way I can’t describe. This is the dog I knew in my heart that I had to help. I brought her home for several nights in hopes of easing her mind and offering her some peaceful quiet.

She bonded to me and quickly fell in love with my pink pillow. As she began to feel more safe over a few days, this pillow offered her comfort for her anxious body. To wake up in the morning with a fluffy face laying across this bright pink pillow is something too special for words.

This sweet soul was so gentle and loving. She would take walks but turn around to make sure I was still on the other end of the leash. She waited outside my tub when I showered just to confirm that I wasn’t disappearing behind the curtain. It was exhausting and draining to be followed around and in a constant state of worry, but it was so gratifying to know that this dog was really shining in a home environment.

Tonight I have an empty pillow. This little sweetie is going to a foster home that will care for her long term until she is ready to be adopted. I shed some tears knowing that she must be scared tonight, but I take comfort in knowing she has a great life ahead of her.

If you ever have the chance to foster, I urge you to do so. It’s an eye opening experience and we are always in need of foster homes that will help our animals become ready for adoption. There are so many animals that thrive once they are in a home environment. Even just fostering for a few days provides us with more information about what kind of home would be a good fit for this animal.

Tonight I have an empty pillow, but my heart is so full of gratitude and love. If you are interested in fostering, please don’t hesitate to reach out. If you have room in your heart and home for a temporary furry family member, consider helping an animal in their temporary home. You will be comforting and nurturing an animal before you allow them to find their forever home. You may be left with an empty pillow, but I promise you will be forever changed.

Beyond the Sunrise

People say they find God in unexpected places, experiencing his presence in ways they haven’t in their day to day life. It may be a new church they weren’t planning to attend and it really connects to their heart, or meeting a person who embodies the kindness and compassion you can model your own life after. It’s that feeling of knowing God is with us and we are not alone in this big world.

I’ve had some trouble with this concept, as I am a creature of habit and I am a fan of my routines. I like my calendars and schedules, and I like following them even more. Finding God in unexpected places would mean I would have to actually go to unexpected places. If I didn’t plan for it, I’m probably not too keen on it or excited for it. Other people can jump at new opportunities with enthusiasm and eagerness. I prefer to keep my anxiety at bay with structure and predictability.

This is one of the reasons I haven’t been a huge fan of traveling. Trying to pack for the unexpected while also bringing your necessities would always throw me for a loop. You don’t know how much traffic there will be on the way to the airport, how long the lines will be once you get there, and if the flight will even be on time. For someone who has spent years trying to manage their anxiety, there are too many variables that could throw off my plans and send my heart for the races.

I’ve made a conscious effort to ground myself in my faith this past year. I challenged myself to know God personally and made a thoughtful decision to prioritize my faith. I was deeply committed to experiencing God’s presence in a way I hadn’t felt before, I just wasn’t sure what that looked like. I wanted to write more and share my faith through my words, but I couldn’t get a grasp on what I wanted to say.

I felt God so many times during my travels this past weekend. I saw Him in the kind Uber driver who was chatting about how he likes mornings because people are nicer and not in such a hurry. As I reflected on his words while walking to my gate, trying to consciously be both nice to people and not in such a hurry, I saw this gorgeous sunrise. I felt His peacefulness seep into my soul and ooze out into the fibers of my being.

There’s something about airports that I’ve grown to love. Maybe I’ve seen “Love Actually” too many times, or maybe I’m a sucker for a good make-believe story. People are eager for their much needed breaks, ready to go somewhere that has happiness stamped on the map. There are couples who are patiently awaiting trips to see family and kids who are thrilled for their vacations. I can’t help but feel their excitement bubbling over in anticipation of getting on a plane and taking off to somewhere new.

For some reason, I get a lot of inspiration at airports. More recently, I’ve felt God there too. When I am in the air and all I see out the window of the plane are clouds, I feel closer to God. It’s like being removed from the world below and looking at the life I think I’m living down there. Am I being kind like the Uber driver mentioned about morning people? Am I pursuing happiness or waiting until I am on vacation to do so? What will it take for me to trust God with my life the way I trust this airplane suspended across the sky?

My purpose in sharing this story is to have you to consider where you feel God’s presence. It could be in the comfort by your cozy fireplace at home or in the sweet serenity of a quiet table at Starbucks. I’ve found that when I am doing what I love, writing and connecting to others through my words, I feel God the most. It makes me wonder how many of us would see His light beam a little brighter when our souls are aligned with what we love.

Whether your feet are on the ground or miles high in the sky, I hope you find inspiration in the the places you go and the people you meet. I hope you give yourself the opportunity to do what makes you happy and to feel God’s love in all that you do. And lastly, I hope you have the courage to dream as big as the sky and to follow those dreams just beyond the sunrise.

Joy in the Moment

I have always had an appreciation for watching fireworks. There’s just something special about a dark summer sky lit up with bursts of glowing confetti. I love the booming sound that beats against your chest and makes you stop and watch. As a kid, I was in awe of the magnificent displays at Disney, showering the castle with magical bits of sparkling fire. It would remind me that there is beauty in the midst of those hot and humid days. No school, no worries, just glistening lights shooting across a midnight canvas.

I wanted to experience that same sense of wonder that I did as a kid. Recently, I was feeling a little unsteady from all the changes in my life. I was struggling with the turmoil of new transitions and leaning on my faith to settle the worry I wrestled with. I was in need of some stability, yet at the same time, I was craving to be wowed. I wanted something to jump out of the sky and shake me, something to rattle me back into a place where I could plant my feet wherever my heart was wandering.

This past 4th of July, I went to the local high school to watch the fireworks display with a friend. The heat was heavy and thick, but we parked down the street and made our way to the football field, eager to relax and be entertained. The smell of sticky sunscreen mixed with fresh fried dough drifted across the air as we walked laps around the track to pass time. We enjoyed each other’s company, reminiscing and talking about life’s ups and downs.

I had just seen a picture of an older woman looking out into a crowd, possibly watching a show, with her arms folded in front of her and a pleasant smile on her face. She was surrounded by many other people with their cell phones out, snapping pictures and trying to capture that moment through creative lenses and vintage filters. I was struck by this picture because I love keeping memories tucked away in photo albums and getting great shots of a time I want to remember. But this woman inspired me to sit back and actually enjoy a moment in its purity. No new status or clever hashtag, just being present and taking it all in.

I decided that I would put my phone away and only take a few firework photos at the very end. The emails could wait, the texts could be read later. I love watching firework displays, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to practice this mindful habit. I wanted to experience something like this fully and whole heartedly. Yes, I wanted to see it, but more than anything, I wanted to feel it.

As I watched the fireworks dancing through the sky, I saw the view through my own eyes and not through the lense of a camera. I took a deep breath and soaked it all in. I think the most amazing thing for me was just being present and actually seeing my surroundings. I saw parents and kids resting on blankets, huddled together to watch the show, maybe taking time as a family that they normally don’t have the opportunity to do. I saw couples holding hands and walking the track, maybe reflecting in this moment on a summer love they’ll never forget. And I saw people of all ages stop what they were doing to look at the sky.

For those few minutes, it didn’t matter that we had to go back to work tomorrow or study for that test in school. It didn’t matter that the daily grind would still tire us out and the unknown future would still make us weary. There were no deadlines to reach or papers to grade. We were there, we were present, and we were feeling everything that moment was giving us.

I wanted so desperately to find something that would give me hope and assure me that everything would be okay. I was seeking something, anything, that would fill this void of uncertainty. But I think I forgot one thing in this picture, and that is the power of faith. Whether you have faith in God or faith in life in general, I think we can all relate that sometimes we need to give up the reigns and let life take its course. If I spent that night worrying about everything that was weighing me down, I wouldn’t have lifted my eyes to the sky to be present in the moment. I literally wanted the fireworks to shoot out a sign saying, “You’ve got this, Kristie!” And even then, I would probably have said the sign wasn’t specifically for me.

Ironically, I was looking up at the sky and waiting for these massive fireworks to shake me, but it was the stillness of my heart and the gentle peacefulness of the night that moved me. As I watched the fireworks pounding against the dark slate of the sky, I received the message I needed to hear. I closed my eyes and opened my heart to find joy in the moment. I didn’t need to go somewhere I couldn’t find or be someone I couldn’t be. I just needed to be present, and that was a gift that would light the fire within me.