Growing up with anxiety issues, sleep didn’t always come easy to me. Whenever I couldn’t sleep, I loved watching infomercials. The magic bullet that chopped and diced anything, the perfect hair straightener that calmed unruly curls, and the cleaning supplies you didn’t know you needed…I wanted them all! But mostly, I just wanted a quick fix to difficult problems, preferably with a satisfaction guarantee.
As middle school transitioned to high school, my anxiety exhausted itself into depression. The infomercials that put me to sleep were now replaced by sleep that I wanted all the time. My desire for a quick fix to my problems quickly plummeted and I got a healthy dose of reality.
I thought the therapy would instantly change my life and I would never look back. I thought the medications would bounce me into a bright new chapter of my story. I thought friends would stay, family would understand, and I could pick up the pieces of the mess I had made.
The therapy was exhausting and demanding. The medications made me sick and tired. People in my life didn’t stay or understand or even know what to do. When I thought going off to college would be an easy way to start over, I missed the fact that I wasn’t ready and wasn’t in the right mind set to do so. But again, I wanted a quick and easy fix to my problems and thought that shipping myself off to live away from home was the answer.
For anyone struggling with a mental illness, fighting for your own mental health can be like a battle you don’t have the strength to fight. It can be so tempting to want life to be like an infomercial and hope that something simple and easy will come along and be transformative.
It’s not going to be easy. There will be days with the infomercials run rampant and you need a quick fix to your challenges. Turn off the TV and know that you are worth more than a fast solution. You are worth all the time, energy, and patience people have to offer. Your life is more valuable than a scripted gimmick shown in the middle of the night.
I want to be clear. You are worth fighting for. Your mental health is a priority and despite the stigma around these matters, you deserve to get help. No amount of 1-800 numbers will ever compare to the help you deserve to be receiving. Talk to a professional therapist and listen with your heart. You matter in this world. If medications are prescribed, take them out of self love to nourish your body with what it needs.
Most importantly, don’t be ashamed. The more we can be open and honestly share our struggles, the more understanding we have of people who face these challenges. Be a voice for those who can’t find their own. Be a champion for those who can’t fight anymore. And above all, be a role model for those who are not able to share their story. The more we talk about mental illness instead of glamorizing it, the more we are able to shine light on the lives of people who are affected by it.